Breaking News--January10--
In light of the severe BCS beatdowns handed out by LSU and Florida to perennial media pretty-boys Notre Shame and THE Sweater Vest University, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced Tuesday the entire Southeastern Conference will be added to his league beginning in 2007. New Bama' coach Nick Saban, who craftily bolted from his job as HC of the Miami Dolphins, was visbly upset at the announcement. Apparently Saban had been told by University brass that Alabama ceased being a member of the SEC ten years ago and wouldn't be affected by the move. Saban wagged his finger at the media and told them he would not be the first customer at the new Tuscaloosa Chik fila'.
In other news, hippie-lettucce smoking USC head coach and all around surf-dude Pete Carrol held a press conference to accept his fourth consecutive national championship trophy. The event was held in a volkswagon van a few miles outside of Van Nuys. On hand for the presentation were all ESPN announcers,including Kirk Herbstreit. Brent Musburger and Lynn Swann took turns sitting on the victorous coach's lap holding the homemade trophy. Reggie Bush was seen outside the locked van beating on the side door screaming to be let inside.
Finally, the last item of the day. Ex-ESPN anchor flunkie and current Fox sideline reporter Chris Myers was beaten severely about the head and Torso by Ohio State Senior Quarterback Troy Smith during a post game interview. Apparently Myers wanted to scoop the quarterback by announcing prematurely that Smith would be leaving OSU to enter the NFL draft. Despite the fact that Smith had used up all of his eligibilty, the beating was deemed justified. Several cheerleaders joined Smith in pummeling Myers.
That's a wrap for college football this year. Keep it real until next season.
